This is where I'm out of it. I think I'm supposed to answer these questions, so here it goes...
1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read the player's blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.
What were you doing five years ago?
Bob and I had just moved to Philly and we were getting to know the area. Our days would be filled with a lot of walking around the city and spending our $20/day "fun budget". We would also be beginning to dive into Buddhist philosophy in order to deal with the emotional baggage we moved with us from DC.
What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1. Get Peanut back into her routine
2. Pick up around the house
3. Eat some chocolate
4. Get a walk in
5. Stop having the TV on during the day
What are five snacks you enjoy?
1. Chocolate
2. Ice cream
3. Fruit
4. Peanut butter toast
5. Carrots and hummus
What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1. Become a philanthropist - giving away money from my own foundation
2. Travel, travel, travel
3. Have or adopt more kids
4. Get a luxury box at the Wachovia Center
5. Buy a fancy-schmancy condo building in NYC and give out apartments to all my friends so we can hang out together - like a souped up dorm.
What are five of your bad habits?
1. Accepting other people's stress
2. Seeking comfort in food
3. Too much TV
4. Letting the house be dirty
5. Wanting to eat out instead of taking the time to cook dinner at home
What are five jobs you've had?
1. Dining hall cook
2. Communications specialist
3. Freelance graphic designer
4. Newspaper deliverer
5. Xmas help at a large retail department store
Five people I tag:
Um, I don't know five people with blogs and it doesn't seem fair to take Looseyfur again. That would just be rude.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Veeps
We decided, we are not excited about Joe Biden. When I think of Obama, it's all about being young and energetic. Biden strikes me as old and grumpy. We analyzed who we would have been excited about and came up with no one except Hillary. I would blog more about my political feelings, but either:
a) years of living "inside the beltway" plus more years of Shrub have made me numb to politics, or
b) my mom brain doesn't allow me to string more coherent sentences together. *
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Stewart/Colbert '08". I laughed. They are the new "Picard/Riker '92".
*I mentioned the mom brain phenomenon to my mom on Saturday. Like how I can't remember words. I know I used to know the word I'm looking for, but it's gone I don't know where. Or how I bump into everything. I'm also good at sitting and staring into the void. I liked her take on it. She said it's because I have a layer of my brain that's constantly on notice. It's always working for just in case. To respond quickly to the Peanut. I thought that was a nice way of looking at it. And isn't that life? It's all about your internal script. How you look at things.
a) years of living "inside the beltway" plus more years of Shrub have made me numb to politics, or
b) my mom brain doesn't allow me to string more coherent sentences together. *
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Stewart/Colbert '08". I laughed. They are the new "Picard/Riker '92".
*I mentioned the mom brain phenomenon to my mom on Saturday. Like how I can't remember words. I know I used to know the word I'm looking for, but it's gone I don't know where. Or how I bump into everything. I'm also good at sitting and staring into the void. I liked her take on it. She said it's because I have a layer of my brain that's constantly on notice. It's always working for just in case. To respond quickly to the Peanut. I thought that was a nice way of looking at it. And isn't that life? It's all about your internal script. How you look at things.
PM Nap is Rocking!
PM nap is going very well today. Hurrah, hurrah! That little Peanut of mine is pooped out. She had a super social weekend. A dinner party Friday night. A visit from the grandparents and a trip to the mall (her first) Saturday. Lunch out and one of those demo parties Sunday. She troopered through every event with pretty good humor for a three month old. Naps were at a minimum all weekend, but she seems back on track today. I have to admit that my favorite part of the weekend was buying her some cute outfits at Old Navy and then dressing her up. I don't want to be a mom who worries about what we look like on the outside - or even that how she looks is some sort of reflection on me. But gee whiz, it's fun to dress her up. To the demo party she wore a ruffled sleeveless top with red and blue blocks and khaki capri pants. Too cute. Lounging around in bodysuits/Onesies is great for every day around the house, but it's nice to have some stylish "bye-bye" clothes. I just don't want to get carried away here. It's also good to be back to normal diaper wise. We went to Babies R Us and bought the correct ones for her. No blow outs since. Saturday was blow-out-o-rama. I must have washed out four outfits in the course of the morning. Stain stick and I are best friends.
So, it's become undeniable that my kid notices television. I've been kind of ignoring that fact for a few weeks now. She'll turn her head to get a better view. Everything I've heard and read says that TV for the under two set is bad news (and now three in France). I'm not proud of the fact, but I do love TV. There are a bunch of shows I like, and Netflix, too. I like to have it on in the background. I suppose it's just a habit thing - I always have. Something talking at me so I don't feel alone or something. So today is a new day. I'm finding alternatives (although I hear radio is a no no, too). How do these parents who keep the TV off watch a movie, though? That's my question. I try to go to bed when she goes to bed so I get the best chance of having six straight hours of sleep. That means her bed time is 10pm or so. If I put her to bed at 8pm to watch a movie, I'm going to only get three to four hours of sleep. I'm not even going to get into the whole question of am I being selfish for wanting to watch a movie AND sleep at the expense of my kid's development. AACK. I grew up with the TV on and I feel like I have a very strong attention span. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best (like it's not TV's fault, it's video games).
So, it's become undeniable that my kid notices television. I've been kind of ignoring that fact for a few weeks now. She'll turn her head to get a better view. Everything I've heard and read says that TV for the under two set is bad news (and now three in France). I'm not proud of the fact, but I do love TV. There are a bunch of shows I like, and Netflix, too. I like to have it on in the background. I suppose it's just a habit thing - I always have. Something talking at me so I don't feel alone or something. So today is a new day. I'm finding alternatives (although I hear radio is a no no, too). How do these parents who keep the TV off watch a movie, though? That's my question. I try to go to bed when she goes to bed so I get the best chance of having six straight hours of sleep. That means her bed time is 10pm or so. If I put her to bed at 8pm to watch a movie, I'm going to only get three to four hours of sleep. I'm not even going to get into the whole question of am I being selfish for wanting to watch a movie AND sleep at the expense of my kid's development. AACK. I grew up with the TV on and I feel like I have a very strong attention span. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best (like it's not TV's fault, it's video games).
Friday, August 22, 2008
Story Time
I had this great moment with the Peanut this morning. She seems to love stories, so I sat her on my lap and read her "Kitten's First Full Moon". She could look at the pictures. It was lovely. I don't know what it is about stories she loves so much - more so when I just talk to her regularly. Yesterday, she was all fussy and boo-hooy... I got out "The Belly Button Book" and started to read it to her. She calmed down and was all rapt attention. Maybe it's my very entertaining and animated voices I use. It's fun. Sometimes I get frustrated at her fussiness and think she doesn't like anything. But it's not true. Just as she's a way better sleeper than I give her credit for, she does like things: milk, kisses, her Boppy chair, Monsieur Monkey, walking and bouncing and now story time. And she isn't fussy about what kind of bottle she drinks from and who gives it to her. I read that some infants are picky about bottle nipples and that some won't drink from a bottle if their mom is nearby. She also takes whatever paci we stick in her mouth. In a lot of ways, she is go-with-the-flow. She even seems to semi enjoy bath time. It's just the crying. Man, that gets to me and pierces my soul. It's so upsetting. I guess I'm hardwired to respond that way. I have to remember that it's all a biological response. Babies cry and it's supposed to get us to move in order to take care of them. That's basic survival.
So here's a funny thing. In order to "save money", we picked up some Huggies at Target. We have been using Pampers Swaddlers exclusively since we came home from the hospital. Huggies were on sale and in a larger quantity than they carried in the Pampers. I thought, what's the difference? You poop into it. The thing was, I'm not too clear on sizing. We bought the size 1-2 and I stupidly took the box weight range as gospel. I mean, it said up to 15 lbs and she's probably 13 lbs. The are SMALL. They fit around her waist okay, but they can't seem to contain her butt. No blowouts, so far, but I'm on her. The second I hear her poop, I'm checking her and then changing her. I can be a little more lazy with the Pampers - especially since we moved her to size 2. Plenty of room there. I'm going to break down and buy another box of Pampers. Thus, my attempt to save money just cost me extra. Yay. I have to remember that I didn't have a baby to save money. :)
Hmmm... I never thought I'd write a long commentary on diapers... But there you go.
Two weeks ago, I vowed to not watch any of the Olympics. It was my own boycott kind of thing. I think China is a fascinating country with great people, but I'm sketchy on the government and some of their practices. I realize that the Olympics are supposed to be a feel-good event. But with the world watching, I wish more was said about their human rights issues. And just what are they doing in Sudan. That sort of thing. Sure, much has been said for their environmental air quality issues during these two weeks, but not enough. I have watched some of it, though. I've seen some gymnastics, diving, weightlifting, some track and beach volleyball. My very favorite moment was last night when the NBC sideline reporter was interviewing the one dude from USA's men's 4X100 relay team. The ones who dropped the baton. I think he asked him if they practice the hand off. HA! Too funny. I wanted the dude to be like, "no, we don't practice - we just showed up today." I don't want to get on journalists, but c'mon. But what was with the "create your own country sign"? Every other country had nicely pre-printed signs. Trinidad and Tobago had a nice TRI on their chests. Even Nigeria. But the Americans wrote their own in. Funny. I'm glad Bob Costas noticed, too. We were totally vibing! Although I wish he had known why. It's the little things that get me.
So here's a funny thing. In order to "save money", we picked up some Huggies at Target. We have been using Pampers Swaddlers exclusively since we came home from the hospital. Huggies were on sale and in a larger quantity than they carried in the Pampers. I thought, what's the difference? You poop into it. The thing was, I'm not too clear on sizing. We bought the size 1-2 and I stupidly took the box weight range as gospel. I mean, it said up to 15 lbs and she's probably 13 lbs. The are SMALL. They fit around her waist okay, but they can't seem to contain her butt. No blowouts, so far, but I'm on her. The second I hear her poop, I'm checking her and then changing her. I can be a little more lazy with the Pampers - especially since we moved her to size 2. Plenty of room there. I'm going to break down and buy another box of Pampers. Thus, my attempt to save money just cost me extra. Yay. I have to remember that I didn't have a baby to save money. :)
Hmmm... I never thought I'd write a long commentary on diapers... But there you go.
Two weeks ago, I vowed to not watch any of the Olympics. It was my own boycott kind of thing. I think China is a fascinating country with great people, but I'm sketchy on the government and some of their practices. I realize that the Olympics are supposed to be a feel-good event. But with the world watching, I wish more was said about their human rights issues. And just what are they doing in Sudan. That sort of thing. Sure, much has been said for their environmental air quality issues during these two weeks, but not enough. I have watched some of it, though. I've seen some gymnastics, diving, weightlifting, some track and beach volleyball. My very favorite moment was last night when the NBC sideline reporter was interviewing the one dude from USA's men's 4X100 relay team. The ones who dropped the baton. I think he asked him if they practice the hand off. HA! Too funny. I wanted the dude to be like, "no, we don't practice - we just showed up today." I don't want to get on journalists, but c'mon. But what was with the "create your own country sign"? Every other country had nicely pre-printed signs. Trinidad and Tobago had a nice TRI on their chests. Even Nigeria. But the Americans wrote their own in. Funny. I'm glad Bob Costas noticed, too. We were totally vibing! Although I wish he had known why. It's the little things that get me.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
She's asleep!
As of this second, the Peanut is asleep for her afternoon nap. And she fell asleep by herself. Sure, it may have taken 30 minutes of fussing and crying... but she did it. I'm very proud of her. I have to remember not to throw too much at her at once. I thought that maybe she'd enjoy having an arm free of her swaddle. She couldn't handle it so I had to take her arm away. After that, though, and a few rounds of "drop the paci" and she's out. Yes! The poor dear is portrayed as a bad sleeper. That isn't true. She's just a bad PM napper. She sleeps at night just great (usually I wake her up for a feeding) and AM nap has been going great. I'm just greedy. I like having more time to get stuff done, like laundry. Or Facebook :) Of course, she needs a nap. She's so tired. So it's win-win.
We've been having a difficult week. We upset her apple cart Saturday by taking her to Lancaster for a visit. Bob wanted to pick up some of his dad's mementos. We then stopped by the grandparent's house. This meant that she didn't have any real naps. Just an occasional cat nap here and there. And she only seems to fall asleep in the car when we are 25 minutes away from our destination. This made Sunday a battle. And then Monday, for some reason, was a real problem for me. I totally crashed. I don't know if it was hormonal, being tired, or what, but I felt like I was the crappiest mom in the world and that I had no business being Peanut's mommy. She started to cry and then I just let loose with my own tears. I think this perplexed her and she stopped crying. I don't know. I feel better today. I'm back to the mantra that I'm the best mom for her. It's tough. Being a mom is so hard. You want to do so well for your kids. You want to give them the best start in life possible - all the tools that they need to be a happy, healthy, functioning adult. I guess it makes sense that you would start to doubt your ability to do this - especially when you start to question how happy, healthy and functioning of an adult you are. I know this is all ridiculous consciously. But I have to admit that it's there inside somewhere. Floating around. Ready to bubble up to the surface when I least expect it. I mean, I've been cruising along. Aside from one day early on where I hit a bottom (I was exhausted, hardly ate and still recovering from my surgery) I thought the baby blues weren't going to hit me. I thought it was because we were too busy dealing with other difficult issues - I couldn't even focus on what I was feeling or not feeling. But I'm not going to get myself down even more because of Monday. I think it's normal for mothers to feel this way. A lot is going on - physically, emotionally.
Then Tuesday wasn't too much better. I had to take her to the doctor's solo for two vaccinations. Don't even get me started on that whole topic, which totally scares me. Anyway, usually Bob goes with us, but he can't keep taking days off for this sort of thing. He has to work. So I took her myself. It took a lot to keep it together (so I could drive home). Seeing her little body get stuck with the needles - and then her crying was just so hard on me. Seeing her in pain just kills me. I don't know what I'm going to do when she's older and starts feeling emotional pain. Ugh. I need to get tough.
She kind of did this cool pre-crawl thing today. I put her on her stomach for the dreaded tummy time and she kicks and kicks her legs. At one point, she kind of propelled herself a teeny bit. Of course, she's a ways away from actual crawling. She's got a lot of upper body stuff to figure out first, but the legs are going to be there. It's cute - even though she gets super upset about the whole thing. Earlier in the week, I was worried that she wasn't reaching up and grasping at toys like "they" said she should be. This was a part of that whole I'm-a-crappy-mom thing from Monday. I felt that I wasn't giving her enough opportunities to grasp at things, etc. So I was determined to make her grasp at her toys by pretty much shoving them at her. Another ridiculous thing. I vow that I'm not going to worry about her development timing. Okay, I'll promise to try not to. She's going to do this stuff on her time. She'll get there. I'm not going to have to carry her from class to class holding her pencils for her because she can't walk or grasp at things. She'll talk, too. And she'll eventually sleep unswaddled. I just need to relax.
We've been having a difficult week. We upset her apple cart Saturday by taking her to Lancaster for a visit. Bob wanted to pick up some of his dad's mementos. We then stopped by the grandparent's house. This meant that she didn't have any real naps. Just an occasional cat nap here and there. And she only seems to fall asleep in the car when we are 25 minutes away from our destination. This made Sunday a battle. And then Monday, for some reason, was a real problem for me. I totally crashed. I don't know if it was hormonal, being tired, or what, but I felt like I was the crappiest mom in the world and that I had no business being Peanut's mommy. She started to cry and then I just let loose with my own tears. I think this perplexed her and she stopped crying. I don't know. I feel better today. I'm back to the mantra that I'm the best mom for her. It's tough. Being a mom is so hard. You want to do so well for your kids. You want to give them the best start in life possible - all the tools that they need to be a happy, healthy, functioning adult. I guess it makes sense that you would start to doubt your ability to do this - especially when you start to question how happy, healthy and functioning of an adult you are. I know this is all ridiculous consciously. But I have to admit that it's there inside somewhere. Floating around. Ready to bubble up to the surface when I least expect it. I mean, I've been cruising along. Aside from one day early on where I hit a bottom (I was exhausted, hardly ate and still recovering from my surgery) I thought the baby blues weren't going to hit me. I thought it was because we were too busy dealing with other difficult issues - I couldn't even focus on what I was feeling or not feeling. But I'm not going to get myself down even more because of Monday. I think it's normal for mothers to feel this way. A lot is going on - physically, emotionally.
Then Tuesday wasn't too much better. I had to take her to the doctor's solo for two vaccinations. Don't even get me started on that whole topic, which totally scares me. Anyway, usually Bob goes with us, but he can't keep taking days off for this sort of thing. He has to work. So I took her myself. It took a lot to keep it together (so I could drive home). Seeing her little body get stuck with the needles - and then her crying was just so hard on me. Seeing her in pain just kills me. I don't know what I'm going to do when she's older and starts feeling emotional pain. Ugh. I need to get tough.
She kind of did this cool pre-crawl thing today. I put her on her stomach for the dreaded tummy time and she kicks and kicks her legs. At one point, she kind of propelled herself a teeny bit. Of course, she's a ways away from actual crawling. She's got a lot of upper body stuff to figure out first, but the legs are going to be there. It's cute - even though she gets super upset about the whole thing. Earlier in the week, I was worried that she wasn't reaching up and grasping at toys like "they" said she should be. This was a part of that whole I'm-a-crappy-mom thing from Monday. I felt that I wasn't giving her enough opportunities to grasp at things, etc. So I was determined to make her grasp at her toys by pretty much shoving them at her. Another ridiculous thing. I vow that I'm not going to worry about her development timing. Okay, I'll promise to try not to. She's going to do this stuff on her time. She'll get there. I'm not going to have to carry her from class to class holding her pencils for her because she can't walk or grasp at things. She'll talk, too. And she'll eventually sleep unswaddled. I just need to relax.
Friday, August 15, 2008
"It's only bloody Friday."
Okay, so it took me three days to eat 2 lbs of blueberries.
My hair is starting to fall out in what seems like fistfuls of clumps. I misguidedly believed that this phenomenon would have started weeks ago (so I believed I was in the clear). Hair is everywhere - and mostly collects on Peanut. Speaking of her, the poor thing had a mini baby meltdown this morning. Everything was going swimmingly until tummy time. She gets all bent out of shape. But tummy time is good for her. Chalk it up to yet another thing mom has to do that's unpopular. I'm already saying to her "you may hate this, but it's good for you and mommy knows best." I say this also during neck washing time (another meltdown-provoking situation). I figured since she was good and mad from tummy time, I might as well wash her neck. The upshot is she gets herself all worked up and then naps very well.
I took out the garbage at 4:30am this morning.
On an un-peanut-related subject... I'm still enjoying Project Runway, although this cycle doesn't have anyone who is standing out character wise in a positive or even a negative-yet-fun way. Either contestants are strange and off putting (Suede and Mr. Tan) or boring (I can't even remember their names to include them). I'm sad that My Life on the D List is over. That show totally cracks me up. These two shows represent "Mommy Time". Two hours where I get to just relax and hang out and not have to walk/bounce the Peanut or change her diaper. Now that MLotDL is over, I'm going to have to figure out another hour I can carve out for myself.
I think someone is stirring already...
My hair is starting to fall out in what seems like fistfuls of clumps. I misguidedly believed that this phenomenon would have started weeks ago (so I believed I was in the clear). Hair is everywhere - and mostly collects on Peanut. Speaking of her, the poor thing had a mini baby meltdown this morning. Everything was going swimmingly until tummy time. She gets all bent out of shape. But tummy time is good for her. Chalk it up to yet another thing mom has to do that's unpopular. I'm already saying to her "you may hate this, but it's good for you and mommy knows best." I say this also during neck washing time (another meltdown-provoking situation). I figured since she was good and mad from tummy time, I might as well wash her neck. The upshot is she gets herself all worked up and then naps very well.
I took out the garbage at 4:30am this morning.
On an un-peanut-related subject... I'm still enjoying Project Runway, although this cycle doesn't have anyone who is standing out character wise in a positive or even a negative-yet-fun way. Either contestants are strange and off putting (Suede and Mr. Tan) or boring (I can't even remember their names to include them). I'm sad that My Life on the D List is over. That show totally cracks me up. These two shows represent "Mommy Time". Two hours where I get to just relax and hang out and not have to walk/bounce the Peanut or change her diaper. Now that MLotDL is over, I'm going to have to figure out another hour I can carve out for myself.
I think someone is stirring already...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Blueberries
I'm attempting to eat 2 lbs of blueberries in two days. I'm up for the challenge, even if I end up turning blue.
The Peanut is supposed to be napping. I think she was actually asleep for like 30 minutes. The past half hour has been her mostly talking to herself in her crib. The experts say I'm supposed to help her fall asleep by herself and not use "props" to help her (like the paci, walking and bouncing, or nursing). I would love for those experts to come here and show me how to do this. I declare it a huge victory that she will sleep without being walked and bounced like she needed her first few weeks. That gets old after awhile. The funny thing is that since we have swaddled her this entire time - how do we unswaddle her? The Happiest Baby on the Block dude doesn't share that wisdom with us in the book. He suggested that after a baby's "fourth trimester" they won't need it anymore. Hmm... We'll see. I guess I have to prepare myself for a few days of bad sleep and see if we can put her down unswaddled. I have this vision of her college roommate needing to help swaddle her to sleep in the dorm. :)
I had this utterly sublime moment on Friday. Bob and I were on the living room floor playing with the Peanut. The windows were open since the weather was absolutely gorgeous and a nice breeze flowed over us. I can't remember ever being so happy and content as that moment. To see her smile, laugh and kick her legs is amazing.
The Peanut is supposed to be napping. I think she was actually asleep for like 30 minutes. The past half hour has been her mostly talking to herself in her crib. The experts say I'm supposed to help her fall asleep by herself and not use "props" to help her (like the paci, walking and bouncing, or nursing). I would love for those experts to come here and show me how to do this. I declare it a huge victory that she will sleep without being walked and bounced like she needed her first few weeks. That gets old after awhile. The funny thing is that since we have swaddled her this entire time - how do we unswaddle her? The Happiest Baby on the Block dude doesn't share that wisdom with us in the book. He suggested that after a baby's "fourth trimester" they won't need it anymore. Hmm... We'll see. I guess I have to prepare myself for a few days of bad sleep and see if we can put her down unswaddled. I have this vision of her college roommate needing to help swaddle her to sleep in the dorm. :)
I had this utterly sublime moment on Friday. Bob and I were on the living room floor playing with the Peanut. The windows were open since the weather was absolutely gorgeous and a nice breeze flowed over us. I can't remember ever being so happy and content as that moment. To see her smile, laugh and kick her legs is amazing.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
What happened to the nap?
The Peanut only napped this morning for 45 minutes. ??? And that was after a tough spell of super fussiness and being upset. About what I couldn't figure out. As she gets older, it gets more complicated. It's no longer just hungry/tired/poopy. Now she is beginning to have more existential issues. I got her up and put her in her gym... but after 3 minutes, she got upset. So now she's in her swing and she looks at me like I'm doing some half-assed parenting. And that's not me just feeling guilty that I'm working on my blog instead of having some sort of quality interaction with her. No, I mean, she really looks at me like that. Not sad, exactly... Well here I'll take a picture of it and upload it later.
We had a nice weekend, for the most part. Had yet another funeral to attend. I'm so over that. It was a long morning. By the time we got to the after luncheon, I was starved and headachey. And since it took longer than I had anticipated, I had to go pump in the bathroom (which actually went okay since they had an actual toilet seat so I could sit down). When Bob suggested we leave since there wasn't any place for us to sit, I was glad (long story). Sunday was just relaxing and watching the rain.
Man, she's still looking at me like that. It's freaking me out. Why can't she fall asleep in her swing like other infants? I just won't look over at her.
The weather is absolutely gorgeous today. I would love to take the Peanut for a walk, if we can handle it. Perhaps I will attempt to put her in her baby carrier thing. That will give her something new to be upset about.
We had a nice weekend, for the most part. Had yet another funeral to attend. I'm so over that. It was a long morning. By the time we got to the after luncheon, I was starved and headachey. And since it took longer than I had anticipated, I had to go pump in the bathroom (which actually went okay since they had an actual toilet seat so I could sit down). When Bob suggested we leave since there wasn't any place for us to sit, I was glad (long story). Sunday was just relaxing and watching the rain.
Man, she's still looking at me like that. It's freaking me out. Why can't she fall asleep in her swing like other infants? I just won't look over at her.
The weather is absolutely gorgeous today. I would love to take the Peanut for a walk, if we can handle it. Perhaps I will attempt to put her in her baby carrier thing. That will give her something new to be upset about.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wait a minute...
I was going to type out something, but I think the Peanut might be awake from her nap already. Hold on... I better go check.
Yup. And right arm completely free from the swaddle. Either I did a totally half-assed job or there was a struggle (or maybe a little from column A and a little from column B).
Yup. And right arm completely free from the swaddle. Either I did a totally half-assed job or there was a struggle (or maybe a little from column A and a little from column B).
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Um...
I quickly reread my few posts and I was sort of shocked at some of the stream-of-consciousness writing going on. My mind is clearly not in the game. I do feel out of it a lot of the time. Lack of sleep can't be to blame - six hours straight has become the norm around here. Then I catch 2 hours more after I feed the Peanut. Perhaps I'm not getting enough of the proper REM cycles? I've heard of "Mommy Brain"... but what causes it? Lack of sleep? Or something else? This would be a great research project. Maybe it's more of a functioning on the basic level sort of thing and the higher brain functions are no longer accessed. In order to deal with diapers and spit up, things like being funny and clever (and being able to string multiple coherent sentences together) get turned off. A type of atrophy. I do feel my verbal skills diminish. Most of my daily conversation is of the goo-goo-ga variety. When I find myself around adults, I don't know what to say anymore. The crazy thing is that it's only been 11 weeks. I have been communicating for 30+years. How could I lose it that fast? Have I been "dumbed down" and is it irrevocable? One thing I could try to do is read books instead of watching Law and Order while I breastfeed.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Trying something new
I attempted a first this morning - trying to get the Peanut to take a nap sans swaddle. I thought for a few minutes it would actually work, as her eyes got heavier and heavier. Alas, she ended up just getting upset after 30 minutes or so (including story time of Horton Hears a Who!). She went right to sleep after that. It's funny, she already outsmarted me. At 11 weeks. D'oh! I put her down for a nap and she was all sweet and smiley. Like it was play time instead of nap time. So, I unswaddled her (this was at 10:30) and hung out with her for awhile. I need to stand firm - I cannot fall for her trickster ways. But smiles and laughs are mommy crack. I can't get enough and I can't resist.
Raspberries are so tasty!
Raspberries are so tasty!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Case of the Mondays
Peanut and I seem to share a case of the Mondays. We are both so tired. But, as she is napping, I'm wasting my time on the internet. She already outsmarts me. I'm feeling a headache coming on - too much weekend. I didn't sleep well at all. But the Peanut was fabulous. She really is quite the little trooper. I'm quite proud of her. Lots of people, new environment - and she hardly caused a fuss. I can't stand being away from her, though. Okay, an hour or so is fine... but four or five is just too much. We went shopping and left her with Grams. I think that was too long for everyone involved. I just adore doing stuff as a little family unit. We headed to the beach at 6:45am and had a wonderful time (although Peanut didn't seem to love having her toes dipped into the cold ocean). It was so relaxing to just sit on a blanket in the sand. Not so many people around. Not too much sun. Lovely weather. Really soul satisfying.
Other developments from the weekend - I have become a non-stop eating machine. I must calm down. It's getting ridiculous, really. I mean, I know that I can take a few liberties with my diet, seeing as how I'm burning 500 calories a day breastfeeding (and I do tend to get starving-hungry). But, sheesh, doughnuts, hamburgers and ice cream in one day. This is too indulgent. It's like, I was so restricted for a long time and I've gone off the deep end.
Other developments from the weekend - I have become a non-stop eating machine. I must calm down. It's getting ridiculous, really. I mean, I know that I can take a few liberties with my diet, seeing as how I'm burning 500 calories a day breastfeeding (and I do tend to get starving-hungry). But, sheesh, doughnuts, hamburgers and ice cream in one day. This is too indulgent. It's like, I was so restricted for a long time and I've gone off the deep end.
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