Um...

I quickly reread my few posts and I was sort of shocked at some of the stream-of-consciousness writing going on. My mind is clearly not in the game. I do feel out of it a lot of the time. Lack of sleep can't be to blame - six hours straight has become the norm around here. Then I catch 2 hours more after I feed the Peanut. Perhaps I'm not getting enough of the proper REM cycles? I've heard of "Mommy Brain"... but what causes it? Lack of sleep? Or something else? This would be a great research project. Maybe it's more of a functioning on the basic level sort of thing and the higher brain functions are no longer accessed. In order to deal with diapers and spit up, things like being funny and clever (and being able to string multiple coherent sentences together) get turned off. A type of atrophy. I do feel my verbal skills diminish. Most of my daily conversation is of the goo-goo-ga variety. When I find myself around adults, I don't know what to say anymore. The crazy thing is that it's only been 11 weeks. I have been communicating for 30+years. How could I lose it that fast? Have I been "dumbed down" and is it irrevocable? One thing I could try to do is read books instead of watching Law and Order while I breastfeed.