Being a mom isn't for the faint of heart. And I clearly need to get tough. I absolutely cannot turn into jelly when she has a boo-boo (that I inflicted on her, no less). I think it just gets her upset since I think she's a sensitive child who picks up on vibes. Here's the sitcho: Peanut has long fingernails. And they grow ridiculously fast. I don't think this an uncommon thing with kids. Anyway, for the past few months (since we've allowed her to have her hands) I've cut her nails while she's asleep. This worked for awhile, but as she gets older - it's not as effective. So, I thought, hell, I'm the mommy, I need to just grab her little hand and cut the nails. I mean, it just wasn't getting done the old way and it needed to. Things went fine with the fingers. She looked a little perplexed, but that's it. Then came the thumb. I ended up nipping her skin and it started to bleed. And it just didn't seem to ever want to stop. At this point, I'm starting to feel a bit frantic. So she starts to cry. Which makes me more frantic. Which makes her scream. Which makes me even more frantic until we are both complete messes. Flashback to the hospital when we received bad advice from the baby nurse and cut her fingernails - and nicked her skin. We got written up so the pediatricians could take a look at what we did. Great, we're already bad parents. Fast forward back to today. We don't have any teeny bandages. Shit. Why don't we have first aid ready for our child? So I jam an adult-sized band-aid onto her thumb. Okay. Crap, she sucks on her hands all the time. What if she sucks the band-aid right off her thumb, swallows it and chokes? Band-aid off. At this point, the cut has clotted. Okay, cool. I go to change her diaper and throw her laundry in the wash. Next thing I notice is some dots of blood on her "Mommy's Little Monster" onesie. AACCK! The cut is bleeding again. Now what? Then I got the genius idea to run her hand under the bathroom tap. Why, I have no clue. It works for burns, I thought. We are both frantic again. I go get another band-aid to jam on her thumb. Since it's nap time, I again can't allow her to wear a band-aid unsupervised. Then a brainstorm. Why don't I swaddle her right arm so she can't get to that bandaged thumb. Yeah. Where are her swaddles? Crap, both of her bigger swaddles are in the laundry. I only have one small one. I cram the screaming child into it. I nurse her. She seems to relax. Hurrah for the magical boob. I'm only partially better. I'm worried that she'll wiggle that arm loose and proceed to then choke on the band-aid. Off it comes for the second time. I put her down to sleep. I go eat some chocolate.
Maybe I should go look. Make sure she isn't bleeding to death.
Damn! She caught me. I snuck in there to peek and she opened her eyes at that moment. I rushed out of there. Hmm... did she look unusually pale? I better go try to peek again.
Okay, she is back asleep. The thumb seems okay, too. I'm such a freaking rookie.
I know this post seems a little melodramatic. The point is that I need to get tough. I managed to turn a little teeny cut into a catastrophe. Or is it a fiasco? Either way, what am I going to do when her first boyfriend doesn't call her?
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At our baby class they told us that for the first 0-15 months you don't have to use clippers. Their fingernails are as thin as tissue paper, just tear it across gently and you can avoid the whole bloody mess issue.
X-man's are still thin enough to do it if one of them gets a little raggedy. But yeah, you've definitely got the mommy neuroses down. :-) If someone out there knows how to get a toddler to allow a mom or dad to hold an ice pack (the fun ones don't even work) to a boo boo, I'd love to know the secret there. We haven't figured that one out, yet.
Parenthood -- so much to doubt yourself over. When I was at work, I loved it because I knew what I was doing. As a Mom, it's just mystifying.
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