The Curious Case of the Mommy Brain

I had all of these great things about being a mommy swirling around in my head last night. Cool stuff for the blog. Now here I am and guess what? I can't remember a single thought. Not one. Mommy brain strikes again.

Since I don't have anything profound to share, I'll just jabber on about a few random things.

One: When I started this blog, I remember Peanut hated the swing. She went from all out crying in it to giving me that "you are such a half-assed mom" look. I even posted a picture. Now she's asleep beside me. All content in the swing. This is yet another situation where I was all freaked out about her development. Ha. Oh, and then I was all worried that she didn't seem to be reaching out and grabbing for things she finds interesting like the babycenter.com email suggested she would. Ha-ha. Every time she either a) grabs a fistful of my hair and yanks or b) pulls the *ahem* excess skin under my chin I have to just laugh at myself.

Two: The Bumbo chair is incompletely named. It should be called the Bum-blowout chair. Every day, Peanut poops in the chair and this poop is not contained in the diaper. I love the fact that she can sit up in it. That's cool and all. But sheesh. I'm constantly rushing her upstairs to have an accident clean up. When-will-I-learn? Perhaps I should put her on a little potty. tee-hee.

Three: Here's a non mommy-related thought (I do have a few). Usually one TV in my house (like having one car) works out just fine. Every so often, though, a situation does pop up. Like tonight. I want to watch the Project Runway finale while Bob wants to watch baseball. Guess I lose and will have to tape (YES, I SAID TAPE) Project Runway. I'm such a great wife. Notice here that there is no mention of the debate in here. We are what's wrong with America.

Four: Speaking of politics, we have our very first political sign out in our front lawn. Never thought I'd be the type. But I never had a lawn before for a presidential election, either. I don't want to hurry life up or anything, but I am looking forward to the end of this election cycle. It's been dragging on and on and on... and I seriously could do without the phone calls and the knocks on the door.

Five: What were the McCain/Palin people thinking sending her out to drop the puck at a Flyers game. Don't they pay consultants $$$ to tell them that Philadelphians can boo like nobody's business. Philly is known nationwide for booing. Someone always brings up how Philly even booed Santa Claus (extenuating circumstances notwithstanding). Why would they send her out there? Her cutie-pie daughter was not enough to stave off the boos. I realize Ed Snider is a McCain supporter. Is he that out of touch with his fan base, 'cause why would he sabotage her like that? In all the clips of the ceremony, she's the one who comes off looking foolish - not the Flyers fans.

Six: Miley Cyrus just isn't a good singer. Plain and simple. Hannah Montana might be a fun campfest... but that's as far as it goes.

Seven: I attempted to sign up for online bill paying this morning... but the paragraph upon paragraph upon... of user agreements and what nots overwhelmed my brain. I just canceled out of the whole thing.

Okay, I guess that's what is rattling around in the ol' brain of mine.

Peanut is sick. I am sick. Bob is sick. And thus, it begins...

We're all sick. I have heard about this happening to friends, so I knew it would happen to us at some point. It's inevitable. But, I didn't think it would happen this soon. I think the Peanut being a breastfed, no daycare baby gave some sort of false sense of security. All I can say is Duh. I don't know where she picked it up. My dad was sick over the weekend when we saw him. Or maybe it's just one of those change of weather things. Being my kid, Peanut is destined to have sinus issues. Who knows? Monday, we woke up in a complete panic. She has an array of usual fussy grunty noises she makes. But Monday morning, my mommy ears picked up that something was different. Bob and I dash out of bed to find Peanut stuffed up and freaking out - causing her to forget to breathe at points. Her whole face turned bright red and her eyes got big. Bob managed to calm her down and get her to breathe regularly. Whew. Those few seconds seemed like an eternity. I have a whole new compassion for parents of asthmatic children. So scary. We were both so freaked that Bob decided to stay home sick all day so we could watch her together. She just caught a little sniffle, but on Monday, to us rookie parents, it seemed more like the plague. This week has ended up being all about TLC for Peanut. Lots of love and snuggles. Now that I'm sick, though, I'm afraid to get too close. I don't want this to become something we pass back and forth to each other for the next four weeks. She seems to be feeling better. The problem is that she's deliriously tired. She's been napping and sleeping challenged unless she's snuggled near me. It's taking two hours each night to get her to sleep. Even getting her back to sleep after our middle of the night feeding took a good hour or so (this has never happened before - she's usually lights out immediately). Bob has been a champ. He really jumped in and took control of the sleep situation and got her back down while I got some sleep. I'm grateful to him, yet I can't help but feel a wee bit guilty. I feel better this morning and can have some blog time while he has to trudge off to work all day.

It's funny, I just heard her wake up and start fussing like she has been. But she's just so exhausted that she must have fallen back to sleep. No more energy to fuss.

Okay, totally random thought, but I've been wondering about it for some time. In Pink's new song, she says something about starting a fight. Just how many fights is Pink getting into these days? I think she's great and all, but really. I'm sure she got into her fair share of scrapes back in the day, but today? Seriously. It's kind of funny to picture her trying to throw down with J. Lo. Tee hee.

I'm also going to put on my rampant and shameless consumerism hat for one second. I know, totally not zen... but I can't help myself. I have to crow about my new Maclaren stroller. It's pretty cool. It's small, light and very mobile. We zip through the stores now. My Zooper is a great stroller (even though I heard the company just went out of business - so screw my warranty) with tons of features and a more comfortable ride for the Peanut. But I just got so tired of hauling it in and out of our teeny trunk. I now have a dedicated car stroller. How decadent is that?

Here's something else I've observed. If Peanut isn't in a dress or wearing pink (or maybe purple) people think she's a boy. Not that this is a problem. Just something I've noticed. It's funny how certain things signify GIRL to people.

Hmm.. what else is on my mind? I'm hoping that the concrete work going on on my street will wrap up today. It's been two weeks of loud. It's looking great... but the jackhammering while Peanut is trying to sleep is a bit much.

I guess that's all I know for the week. Oh! Can I also share how much I love Shout Advanced stain remover? It gets baby poop out like crazy. Hurrah! And I would consider myself an expert in this field.

Falling for Fall

Fall is my absolute favorite season. I love the crisp chill in the air. I love the smell of it. And, of course, the leaf thing is pretty cool. But being a parent brings new seasonal worries I hadn't anticipated. For instance, I'm pretty adamant about not turning on the heat until like after Halloween. It just doesn't seem necessary. But now, I guess I'll have to be more flexible. I can't freeze my kid. Her poor little mouth quivered this morning. D'oh. So I dressed her up in a onesie, socks, pants and a hoodie. I think she felt much better about things after that (well, until she had a huge blow out, but nevermind, anyway). Now I need to figure out what to dress her in when we go out, too. Bob put her in a super cute dress for our night out to BJ's, but since it was so chilly, we covered her in a blanket. I know I'm making this needlessly difficult. Just stick a coat on her and go. But gee whiz, we combed the mall on Saturday going into every damn children's store and could not find a fleece coat in her size THAT DID NOT HAVE A HOOD. What is with that? Hoodies are tres cute. I get that. But they are not practical when you spend 75 percent of your day lying down. The hood gets all bunchy and annoys her. I was feeling a little desperate, so I even checked out Nordstrom. Nothing. We have a big-ass mall near us, too. BIG ASS. And nothing. I even checked out the boy fashions. Still came up empty. Thank goodness for Looseyfur who sent me a gray sweatshirt from Baby Gap. That is perfect. Why can't I find more like that? One is not enough. It shouldn't be that hard. Even the internet let me down. Back to the drawing board.

See, it's always the little things that trip me up. Sometimes I wish I had thought more about what happens when the baby was out while I was pregnant than focusing so much on the pregnancy itself.

Speaking of BJ's... They keep sending me offers for a 60-day free trial. I intended on many occasions to try it out, but I always ended up forgetting. Last night, we finally took them up on the offer. I've never, ever stepped into one of these type of stores in my life. In my former life, what would I ever do with a gallon drum of syrup? Now with a baby and a house, I thought it would be more worthwhile. I admit that I'm sort of fuzzy about what I pay for things. I'm not always the best shopper. I can't be bothered with going around trying to find the cheapest price on things since I still sort of maintain a one-bedroom apartment mentality. This needs to change into a stock-up-and-save mentality, especially in this new economy. Anyway, talk about a bemusing experience. I can't imagine why anyone would ever need *that* much minced garlic? And the one item I'm very keen on price is diapers. They were like $1 cheaper at BJ's. ??? One dollar. That's it. A buck. It's seems better to get them from Amazon and save on tax and gas and time and trouble. I was excited to buy 8 toothbrushes and 6 boxes of Puffs, though. That should set me up for 8 months.

Gosh, I have a lot of commentary on very mundane things today. It's funny how my life has changed that this is my focus. If someone would have told me this 10 years ago. I'd laugh. Unbelievable.

I'm not even going to touch the debates last night. They seem so pointless. Do they change people's minds for real? I highly doubt that. Obama voters are going to think Biden is experienced and knowledgeable while Palin is a folksy rookie who can cram like a college student. McCain voters are going to think... well, I have no idea what they think. I think, in the end, what bothers me most about the Bush administration is the dumbing down of America. Our expectations have gotten so low that just showing up, looking cute and stringing a few talking points together is enough to be applauded as a victory. Sheesh. This whole thing is difficult, though. I'm so grrl power. I love to see girls kick ass. But, could you see Palin with her aw shucks hockey mom demeanor talking to Putin. It's laughable. Time and place, people, time and place.

I clearly need to get tough

Being a mom isn't for the faint of heart. And I clearly need to get tough. I absolutely cannot turn into jelly when she has a boo-boo (that I inflicted on her, no less). I think it just gets her upset since I think she's a sensitive child who picks up on vibes. Here's the sitcho: Peanut has long fingernails. And they grow ridiculously fast. I don't think this an uncommon thing with kids. Anyway, for the past few months (since we've allowed her to have her hands) I've cut her nails while she's asleep. This worked for awhile, but as she gets older - it's not as effective. So, I thought, hell, I'm the mommy, I need to just grab her little hand and cut the nails. I mean, it just wasn't getting done the old way and it needed to. Things went fine with the fingers. She looked a little perplexed, but that's it. Then came the thumb. I ended up nipping her skin and it started to bleed. And it just didn't seem to ever want to stop. At this point, I'm starting to feel a bit frantic. So she starts to cry. Which makes me more frantic. Which makes her scream. Which makes me even more frantic until we are both complete messes. Flashback to the hospital when we received bad advice from the baby nurse and cut her fingernails - and nicked her skin. We got written up so the pediatricians could take a look at what we did. Great, we're already bad parents. Fast forward back to today. We don't have any teeny bandages. Shit. Why don't we have first aid ready for our child? So I jam an adult-sized band-aid onto her thumb. Okay. Crap, she sucks on her hands all the time. What if she sucks the band-aid right off her thumb, swallows it and chokes? Band-aid off. At this point, the cut has clotted. Okay, cool. I go to change her diaper and throw her laundry in the wash. Next thing I notice is some dots of blood on her "Mommy's Little Monster" onesie. AACCK! The cut is bleeding again. Now what? Then I got the genius idea to run her hand under the bathroom tap. Why, I have no clue. It works for burns, I thought. We are both frantic again. I go get another band-aid to jam on her thumb. Since it's nap time, I again can't allow her to wear a band-aid unsupervised. Then a brainstorm. Why don't I swaddle her right arm so she can't get to that bandaged thumb. Yeah. Where are her swaddles? Crap, both of her bigger swaddles are in the laundry. I only have one small one. I cram the screaming child into it. I nurse her. She seems to relax. Hurrah for the magical boob. I'm only partially better. I'm worried that she'll wiggle that arm loose and proceed to then choke on the band-aid. Off it comes for the second time. I put her down to sleep. I go eat some chocolate.

Maybe I should go look. Make sure she isn't bleeding to death.

Damn! She caught me. I snuck in there to peek and she opened her eyes at that moment. I rushed out of there. Hmm... did she look unusually pale? I better go try to peek again.

Okay, she is back asleep. The thumb seems okay, too. I'm such a freaking rookie.

I know this post seems a little melodramatic. The point is that I need to get tough. I managed to turn a little teeny cut into a catastrophe. Or is it a fiasco? Either way, what am I going to do when her first boyfriend doesn't call her?

She Did It! Update

This is sort of funny, since Peanut rolled over last Monday, she has shown no signs of doing it again. I mean, zero interest. Not even close to thinking about possibly being interested in attempting this feat again. It cracks me up. It's like - Yup, I did it. Check me off, but I don't see how this adds to my current situation. It reminds me to chill out about developmental milestones. Just like with the swaddle thing. She will crawl. She will walk. She will talk. At her pace. So I'm not going to add to our stress by worrying about this stuff. She'll get there in her own time. Just like today. It's AM nap and not only is she not swaddled, but she even fell asleep by herself with no paci, either. So there.

Her doctor seems pretty low key about this sort of stuff, too. There has never been talk about percentiles. She asked about how breastfeeding is going, if Peanut rolled over yet and if she's developing teeth. That's pretty much it. I think the no pressure vibe. That works for me. Anyway, Peanut had her four-month check up yesterday. Things seem to be progressing. She's growing - and that's her number one job.

We had a nice time at the beach this weekend. We even mini golfed. I actually played better when I was wearing Peanut in the carrier. As soon as we put her in the stroller, I sucked. I'm going to adopt playing with one hand always.

Other than that, I'm just waiting for MY bailout to come.

She Did It!

She rolled over from front to back. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to. Even though I knew she would do it any day now, we still both looked a little surprised at each other. I tried to encourage her to do it again, but no such luck. She couldn't figure it out. I'm happy that she's developing, but now I have to keep an even closer eye on her since she's now on the move.

She was just wonderful this weekend. We had a super social Saturday and she took it with pretty good humor. We kept waiting for her next day meltdown and it never happened. Well, it happened this afternoon. It didn't help that her rashy neck was especially raw. ??? I try to keep after it with varying degrees of success. I'm not sure what the deal is there. It must bother her quite a bit. At least it should clear up when she gets her neck. There's not much there yet. :) It's tough to get screamed at by someone you love for 30 minutes and I was dumbfounded when my usual remedy of nursing didn't seem to work. She was crying too much to stay latched on. After I calmed her down, she fell right to sleep. Totally emotionally spent, I went and ate some cake and felt much better.

PS I love cake. Cake cake cake!
PPS I find I waste too much time on Facebook. I'm going to have to limit it to once a week.

Back in Blog

Big news! Peanut slept last night with her arms completely free of the swaddle. Sure, her bottom half is still in the swaddle, but it really serves more as a blanket for her. And see, I was afraid her college roommate would have to swaddle her before bed. :) We followed a slow course of allowing her to have an arm each night - switching it up. For the past week, she's spent nap times with her arms free. And now, voila! All night. I'm so proud of her. She totally rocks. If fact, I've noticed a huge change in her this week. She just seems more okay with the world. More used to things. It's amazing to watch her develop. The best is hearing her laugh, though. She will play in her gym and just laugh at Monsieur Monkey and Ellie Elephant. It makes me laugh to watch her. She's not protesting things as much, either. I plunked her in the Ergo carrier and walked down to meet Bob at the trolley stop. Not a peep. The stroller, too. As long as she can sit straight up and see out. Another cool thing is that she recognizes Bob and gives him the biggest smile when he returns home from work - like she's so excited to see him. And now I think she'll be ready to roll over any day now (from front to back).

Okay, enough about the Mommy stuff. I need to get some other stuff off of my mind. This election is really starting to eat at me. Granted, I have a certain amount of cynicism toward politics in general. Six years "inside the Beltway" can do that to you. But this is starting to get ridiculous. No one is debating REAL ISSUES. It's all that stupid pointless personality crap. Can we please move past the Bridge to Nowhere? What are you going to do to fix healthcare? How are you going to stimulate the economy? It's almost like issues we face today have gotten too complex and no one is able to sit down and focus on it. It's all about the soundbite or talking point. Whether true or untrue. Grab and go. What pithy saying can you drill into the minds of voters so they forget what's really at stake? What I want to know is which came first: the political rhetoric of saying nothing or that the public doesn't want to listen? I know eight years of Bush has dumbed us all down. His "decisiveness" is just a ploy at not dealing with things in a deep and real way. Issues are not black and white. They are so many shades of gray here that get ignored.

Oh and this is scary... I heard yesterday that McCain has been consulting with Karl Rove. Ugh! ACCKKK! I thought I could live begrudgingly with a McCain presidency because basically anything is better than what we have now (and, again, Bush taught us all to aim low). But this is clearly more of the same. How can he tout himself as a "maverick" and a bringer of change to Washington if he's enlisting the help of Rove? That seems like politics as usual to me.

I have to admit that I am resigned to living through a McCain-Palin administration. I just get a bad feeling about the whole thing. This is the cynicism thing again, but a population who could re-elect Bush in 2004... well, I guess I just don't expect that much from. It makes me sad to feel this way about my fellow Americans. But there you have it. I mean, this is the country that also brought you the search for the next Pussycat Doll show.

PS I'm so sick of that "I Kissed a Girl" song.